A Kiss in Winter Page 31

  “What will they do to me?”

  “There’s a place for people who have never had a chance, people like you who have been victims all of their lives, to go for treatment instead of going to jail. A hospital. They can help you. I can get you in.”

  Mick’s cell phone rang again. He looked to Kingery for permission before he answered it.

  Once Kingery gave him a nod, Mick listened to Odell for a moment, then said, “I’ll tell him.”

  Kingery’s anxious gaze skittered and jerked between Mick, his cell phone, and the lights outside.

  Mick told him, “The police have every escape blocked.” As if to emphasize the point, the rhythmic reverberating thump of a low-flying helicopter came through the rise and fall of the wind. “They’ll have a sharpshooter take you out, or they’ll eventually storm the house. Either way, it’s a bad end. Or you can walk out of here with me, under my protection. The choice is yours, Mr. Kingery. This might be the first real choice you’ve had.”

  Kingery’s sharp attention focused on Mick again. He sniffed his runny nose and wiped his left eye on the shoulder of his jacket. However, the gun stayed where it had been since Mick walked in, on Caroline.

  “Why don’t you put the gun down and you and I can go out of here together,” Mick suggested. “Just kick it into the living room, far from both of us.”

  Kingery’s chin started to tremble.

  “Neither of us needs a gun. We’ll walk out of here like men. Everyone will see how strong you are. Everyone will know you made the right choice. This can be the beginning of your new life.” Mick leaned slightly forward. “Take this chance.”

  Now Kingery was openly crying. “I’m not a nobody!”

  “No. You’re a man, a man who can prove himself by doing the right thing. A man everyone can look up to. You’ll be a role model for all of those kids who are suffering like you suffered.”

  Rolling his lips inward to stifle his crying, Kingery glanced over his shoulder at the lights pulsing against the front windows.

  Mick said, “They won’t go away. And they won’t wait forever.” God, if only he was as calm as he made his voice. Every nerve was vibrating, every muscle strung tight with tension.

  Kingery grabbed at Caroline, shaking her. “Wake up! Wake up! You took everything from me. I want to hear you say it. I want you to admit what you did to me!”

  Mick gritted his teeth to keep from yelling, from charging the man and getting Caroline killed.

  She made a soft noise. Her eyes fluttered open. “James?” she said sweetly.

  “Yeah, it’s James!” he shouted. “James whose Christmas gifts you stole. James whose family you stole.” His voice grew louder and he shook her again. “You took everything from me!”

  “Oh, James, I didn’t know. I’m so very sorry. If I had known then… but I was just a little girl… I’m sorry, James. Please forgive me.”

  Mick could see a shift as Kingery heard the words he’d thought would take away the pain; the realization that words didn’t change anything. The man was sobbing now, still clinging to the gun.

  Mick said gently, “There. You can see she was just like you, helpless.”

  By the look in his eye, Mick saw this was going one way or the other in the next few seconds. He held his breath and his pleas, letting Kingery slide deeper into himself.

  And he waited. Forcing himself to breathe in and out. His own heartbeat drowned out the sound of Kingery’s ragged breathing, of the raging wind, of the helicopter.

  Speaking as if singing a lullaby, Mick went on, “No one should treat helpless children the way you were treated.” Moving closer, he said, “Please, James. No one has ever offered to help you, not as a little boy, not as a man. Let me. No one will hurt you. You’ve been hurt enough.”

  Kingery’s eyes closed. He folded in on himself and sobbed.

  The gun hand relaxed, the barrel no longer directed at Caroline’s head.

  Mick was five feet away. He lunged forward, wrenching the gun from Kingery’s grip. The man didn’t put up much of a fight.

  Once the gun was gone, he curled into a ball on the floor and cried, pulling his own hair with angry clenched fists.

  Mick put himself between Kingery and Caroline and called Odell.

  The second the police came through the door, Mick handed off the gun.

  Caroline had scooted to a sitting position on the floor but had kept silent until Kingery was in custody. Mick fell to his knees and took her face in his hands. “Are you okay?”

  “Oh my God, Mick! You were amazing.”

  He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her lips as she repeated, “Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

  “You’re all right, you’re all right, you’re all right…,” he muttered in harmony to her praise.

  He started to remove the tape from her wrists, his hands shaking so much it was hard to pull it free.

  The instant her hands were unbound, she threw her arms around him. They rocked backward together until his back hit the stairs.

  Odell asked, “Is she okay? Paramedics are on their way in.”

  “I’m fine,” Caroline said with her face still buried in Mick’s shoulder.

  Mick looked up at Odell. “We just need a minute.”

  With a nod, Odell left.

  Caroline said, “You’re shaking worse than I am.” She raised her head and touched his cheek. “That was some impressive mind work, Doctor.”

  “You did your part,” Mick said, holding her closer, still reassuring himself that she was safe. “Playing possum gave me the time I needed.”

  “He hit me from behind when I was locking the back door. I came to taped up in the back of my van. Decided to pretend a while longer. Then it became obvious he wanted me awake for whatever he had in m-m-mind.” Finally, she began to cry.

  “Shhh.” Mick hushed her. He didn’t even want to contemplate what Kingery had had in mind. He held her close, blocking out everything else.

  After the two of them finally stopped trembling, they got up. The paramedics were waiting. They checked the gash on Caroline’s forehead; Mick stood right behind her with his hands on her shoulders, unwilling to let her go.

  Chapter 25

  Mick drove Caroline home at midnight, stopping to pick Macie up from Caleb’s. The instant the truck pulled up in front, Macie flew out of the doorway and ran across the yard. Caroline jumped out of the truck and met her sister on the sidewalk. They shared a long, tearful hug while Mick and Caleb looked on. Mick’s heart still hadn’t settled back into a normal rhythm. Maybe it never would.

  Then Caroline thanked the Collingsworths for helping Macie through this emotional evening. She even gave Caleb a hug before they left.

  Once back home, Macie demanded every detail. They sat in the kitchen until two a.m. After Macie went to bed, Mick reached across the table and grasped Caroline’s hand. Just looking at the bandage on her forehead made him want to inflict bodily harm on Kingery.

  “It’s been a long day. I should let you go to bed,” he said. He hated himself for feeling just a little bit sad that Caroline no longer needed his protection.

  Caroline didn’t want to let go of Mick’s hand. “You know, it was you who saved me. You and your instincts and your strength.”

  He lowered his gaze and shook his head. “I was lucky.”

  With a squeeze of his hand she said, “You were smart. Smart and skilled and strong. You came through when it counted. It doesn’t matter if you go back to psychiatry or not, but you have to know it wasn’t your lack of ability that caused that disaster in Chicago. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control.”

  She could tell he wanted to disagree. Instead, he said, “Thanks—for believing in me.”

  She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it. “You should believe in yourself.”

  The moment had come when she had to decide. She could either crawl into his lap and let him hold her, or she could do what was right and let him go.

 
; The temptation to do the former was strong. But in the end, it would just make things that much more difficult. She owed him honesty. She owed it to him to let him go to find a partner in that life he’d been so long denied.

  Taking a deep breath, she said, “The call from National Geographic was a job offer.”

  “That’s great,” he said with pride in his eyes. Then that brightness dimmed slightly. “I assume you accepted.”

  “Not yet. They want me to start in January with a shoot in South America. Then if that goes well, I’ll be given a permanent position. Of course, it could just be the two-week deal if they don’t like my work.”

  “January.” Regret colored his voice. “So soon?”

  “That’s why I haven’t accepted. Macie won’t be done with school until May.”

  “That’s not an insurmountable problem. She can live with me on the farm until summer—or stay with the Bennetts. Then, I presume Sam will be home for vacation. After that she’ll be off to college. And, if the impossible happens and they don’t hire you after that, you can come back home while you keep looking for something else.”

  She found herself shaking her head even before he’d finished. “I can’t just leave her.”

  “I think you should discuss it with her. She’s a good kid, got her priorities in the right place. You can trust her.” He leaned forward and wrapped both of his hands around hers. “You know this is a once-in-a-lifetime shot. You’ve earned it. There are plenty of people here to help Macie.”

  Caroline gave a forceful sigh. “I don’t know.”

  He reached out and touched the heart on her necklace. “I know how hard it is to let go of something you love.”

  For a long moment, Caroline couldn’t breathe. Love? They’d never said the word. But now it hung between them, shimmering in the air with both possibilities and potential disaster. It frightened her when she realized how deeply she loved him, too.

  How could one little word carry so much responsibility? If she admitted her love for him, he’d do something foolish like wait for her, or try to convince her that she could divide herself between a global career and a home life. Even if she thought she could compromise her commitment to either, there was still the issue of children.

  Don’t drag this out.

  She licked her lips, her mouth suddenly dry as dust. “Mick, now or later, I’m leaving.”

  “I know.” He stood up and picked his jacket off the back of his chair. “It’s a bitch, but I did promise.” Kissing her brow, he walked out of the kitchen.

  Caroline sat still. The sound of the front door closing behind him made her jump, the small sound resonating deep in her soul.

  This aching hollowness will go away once I’m able to immerse myself in work. That was the thought that got Caroline through Christmas and the first week of January. She’d seen Mick fairly regularly in the first days after Kingery had been arrested. But soon after, they’d begun to shy away from each other by unspoken mutual agreement. It was just too hard to see him and not touch him. To look at a future that would keep them apart while standing near him.

  She’d thrown herself into making a special holiday for Sam and Macie, knowing this would be the last of its kind. Still, loss had nagged like a deep, dull ache.

  Macie, Caleb, and Laurel had been moving Macie’s things to the Bennetts’ for the past two days. As Caroline held the front door for Macie to pass through with a box, she said, “You seem awfully happy. I’m beginning to think you’re anxious to get rid of me.”

  Macie stopped and looked at her, then set down her box. “I’m happy because you’re finally getting to do what you should have been able to do six years ago.” She wrapped Caroline in a hug. “I’ll miss you. But you’ve earned this, big sister.”

  Caleb and Laurel came clomping down the stairs, both carrying a piece of Macie’s stereo. “No loafing,” Laurel said to Macie as she passed. “This is the last load, then we get pizza.”

  With a quick kiss on Caroline’s cheek, Macie picked up the box and followed the other two out to Laurel’s dad’s truck.

  Caroline watched from the door until they pulled away. Then she returned to her own packing. She wouldn’t be taking much, having been told to travel light. But crating her equipment for shipping to South America took some careful planning.

  She had just about finished when the doorbell rang.

  When she opened the door to find Mick, her heart tripped over itself. “Hi there.” She opened the door wider and invited him in out of the cold.

  There was a moment of hesitance; then he shook his head. “I know you’re leaving tomorrow. I just wanted you to know that I’ve talked with the Bennetts. They know they can call me if Macie needs anything.”

  The cold air was inching deep in the house, but Caroline’s cheeks were heating up. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.” Especially since I’m not giving you anything in return.

  He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small robin-egg blue box tied in a white satin ribbon. “This is for you.”

  “Oh.” She accepted the box, thinking, again he gives and gets nothing. His hands wrapped around hers.

  “I want you to take care of yourself.” He withdrew his hands. “Open it when you’re on the plane.”

  He started to back away.

  “I’ll be back here as much as I can… until Macie’s settled into college.” Stop it. Stop trying to keep him close. It wasn’t fair, but she didn’t want him to find someone else. It was worse than not fair; it was mean and spiteful and selfish. But in those moments when she imagined another woman in his arms, having his children, it was like a knife to the heart.

  He said, “If nothing else, I’ll see you at graduation. Macie already invited me.”

  “Good.”

  “Well, cows are waiting.” He took another step backward.

  Her feet were moving before her mind could protest. She hurtled herself into his arms hard enough that he rocked backward. He held her tightly, his warm breath on the top of her head. And for the briefest moment, the aching hollowness went away.

  Finally, she stepped out of the embrace. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “You, too.” He reached out and touched the tip of her nose. “Raccoon tamers are very hard to come by.”

  Caroline sat on the plane, looking at the small blue box in her hands. They’d been airborne for an hour, but she couldn’t bring herself to open it. Although her excitement about the job had kicked in, there was a corner of her heart that would always remain raw. This unopened box was the last unexplored moment she had with Mick.

  The flight attendant came by asking for drink orders. She had to touch Caroline on the shoulder to get her attention.

  “Are you all right, miss?”

  Caroline tore her gaze from the hypnotic presence of the box. “Yes. Fine.”

  “Would you like a beverage?”

  “No. Thank you.”

  Caroline waited until the elderly woman sitting next to her had been served her cranberry juice, then slowly untied the satin ribbon around the box.

  With trembling fingers, she lifted the lid. Inside was a folded note. Underneath that was a beautiful platinum-and-gold heart charm.

  The note said: Thank you for allowing me to carry your heart, even for a brief time. No matter where you go, you’ll always carry a part of mine. Love, Mick.

  She bit her lip to keep from crying and touched the heart lightly, tracing its shape. The gold and platinum blurred; she blinked tears away.

  She lifted the heart from the box and closed her hand around it. It felt warm, as if it were made of something other than just cold metals.

  It was a beautiful sentiment.

  I should send it back.

  Even before she finished the thought, she unclasped the chain around her neck and slid the charm on next to the one her mother had given her.

  She leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. She focused on what lay ahead, knowing she was stronger f
or loving Mick—and stronger yet because she’d left him.

  She put her hand over the hearts she wore around her neck and sighed. She had proven herself. She would not die of a broken heart like her mother. Even so, she would not live unscarred.

  Epilogue

  The snow fell in giant fluffy flakes, dancing as they drifted downward. It was nearing dusk, the blue light of evening highlighting the snow. The lane to the farmhouse was unmarred by tracks. Caroline sat in her rental car with the engine idling, preparing her heart for the difficult task ahead. Seeing Mick was always a mixed blessing. Today he didn’t even know she was coming.

  She’d seen him last in August, when she’d come home to help Macie pack up for college. The Collingsworths had then driven Macie and Caleb to school in Santa Barbara. Caroline’s visit with Mick had been friendly, as had their visit when she’d returned in May for Macie’s graduation. But the air between them had been stifling with all of the things they were not saying, not asking one another, the things they’d both tried to turn their backs on.

  She touched the two hearts on her necklace, and, as always, she felt their warmth. She hadn’t taken them off since she’d added Mick’s heart to the chain.

  “All right, here I go.” She pulled the car into the lane, plowing tracks in the virgin snow.

  By the time she pulled up to the house, her heart was beating faster than it should. A Christmas tree stood in the living-room window, bringing to mind that night so long ago when she and Macie had crept up here like criminals to take a photograph.

  So much time had passed, so much had changed. Yet when she looked at that Christmas tree, she could pretend time had stopped.

  She pulled on her gloves and hat. Just as she started to get out of the car, she saw Mick heading toward the house from the barn. She had to admit, as much as she’d been against the change, red on the barn did look very striking in the swirling snow. It made her want to take a picture.